What it is

It is what it is...it sounds good, it's definitely true, well it could be. It is what it is, except for when it's not. That's really the truth.

I'm sitting here reflecting on what I am and what I have done with myself so far. It's not a very pretty picture from where I sit. There's nothing like updating your resume to really shed some light on how little you've done with your life.

I'm 24 years old and I have nothing to show for myself. I have an X-box. I have a Playstation2. I have imDb as my homepage... Wow. I'm at home at 7:00 pm on a Saturday for the first time in six months and all I can think about is how badly I want to go to bed. I have no life.

Sad and depressing. I'm going to take a shower and a nap. Not necessarily in that order. God, I suck today.

-Veelzabub

p.s. Welcome to finals week!

Day of rest

No one ever said that titles had to be accurate (the word titles-it just looks funny). Tomorrow doesn't really count as a day of rest if you consider how much stuff I really have to do. Yet for some obscure reason, I feel really optimistic about the day. Maybe it's the fact that I took Monday off (a move I can really ill afford). Maybe it's that I don't have to set my alarm clock tonight. Now this does mean that I probably won't get out of bed until 2:00 pm...and I'm ok with that. Not really, because it does mean a huge waste of a day when I'm not at work. I'm giddy with the thought of not needing to haul myself out of bed and go to the super huge mega-conglomerate sporting goods store. Granted, there is a lot of stuff to do for the shoot tomorrow night: I have props to gather, food to prepare, PAs to call and harass (the joys of small independent shorts with no operating budget!), but even with all this stuff do do, I think that the idea of rest is a good one.

I need a new job. I say this a lot, but lately I have come to the conclusion that If I don't start something else soon, I may start doing anti-social things. And I don't mean the kind where I just stay home all the time...Now I know that most people say that they don't really like their job, but this really is getting to be insane. The deeply seated feeling of dread when I wake up may only be the first symptom, but I have to get out now.

Anyhow, I need to go to sleep. I went to see Sahara tonight. While it wasn't a pinnacle of plot (or even really well made) it was entertaining. It did have enough "movie moments" that at times I forgot that I was watching it for the purpose of writing a paper on production values and actually stopped taking notes. Not too bad.

Also, here's one just to make you laugh...


Forget Amityville, now that's scary!

And I'm spent...

-Veelzabub

These are not the droids you are looking for...

So, it's quarter to one in the morning, and am I snug abed like all good little children should be in the wee hours of the morning? Of course not stupid, or there wouldn't be a posting for you to read...

I'm up, waiting for a return phone call from the bar/restaurant that is supplying food for the shoot tomorrow. That's the problem with begging free food to feed the grubby, soul-stealing folks who work on a movie shoot with you. You have to fit your schedule around theirs. And around that of the people who run the equipment rental shop, and well, pretty much everyone but yourself. It makes for a very tired Veelzabub.

Right now, I should be doing the homework that I really don't have any other time to do. Much to my dismay however, the words just won't seem to come to me. For someone who usually can't seem to shut up, even when she really (REALLY) should, this is troublesome. I seem to be able to sort out my writing skills here, but the minute I open up Microsoft word or Final Draft, they all fly right out the window. It's like trying to look at one of those little floaty things you get in your vision. You can only see it by not looking at it. The same principle seems to be holding true here. Maybe I should try typing my paper onto my blog. I'll tell the professor that I'm trying to do my little part to save paper. "You can reference my paper here: blah, blah, blah..." Considering that it's a Socy class being taught in Boulder, Colorado, I just might be able to pull it off. Damn hippies.

Nope, that's not going to work either. Ok, I can't do it any more. I'm going to go to bed and just take the phone to bed with me. Honestly, having the phone ring in my bed will be the most action I've had in a while.

Ha, Ha, Ha....

It would be funny if it wasn't so sad and true. Or maybe it still wouldn't be, I'm really too tired to tell...

'night

-Veelzabub

Twice in two days?

As strange as it seems, I am posting two (yes, two!) nights in a row! And while tonight's little number will have to be short and sweet, the fact that it is going up at all is a very positive sign.

You see, the truth is that I've been pretty not happy lately. Not unhappy mind you (although there have been some markedly unhappy moments), just not happy. Part of it my job. It does have its good points: It allows me enough freedom to attend school, I like my co-workers, and I genuinely enjoy selling sporting goods. Well, maybe not that last one so much. Unfortunately, its bad points no longer seem to be things that I'm willing to put up with. Poor management, sloppy merchandising and an overall lack of people skills (in the general public), all of these are just the tip of the ice berg. Honestly, the biggest issue I have with my job is that there isn't enough work...

I know this probably sounds strange, my complaining about a job where I don't really have to do anything, but really, I think my time is more valuable than that. I have lots of other things I could be doing...homework...housework...playing Fable....so wasting my time trying to look busy when there isn't really anything for me to do just kind of sticks in my craw. I never leave work with that "ahhh, I really accomplished something today" sort of feeling. Petty? Maybe. But I really need to find something else that is a better fit for my personality.

So if you're wondering why I'm logging in for the second time in just two days (and by "you", I really mean myself, since I'm really the only one who ever sees this...society's loss), It is because our shoot tonight..."doot-doo-doo-doot"...finished on time. Of course it was partially because I turned into a nagging bitch from hell and pestered Supermanwah and Griff until they called the shot, but nevertheless, we got done right when we were supposed to. In addition to this, I have all of my homework done, I cleaned my apartment (although I really need to clean the kitchen again since I made all the food for cast and crew tonight) and all around things are looking up. I still need to do my taxes, but since I don't owe, I'll probably be ok. I feel good right now. Tired but good. I probably won't feel the same at 6:00 when I have to get up for work, but at this moment in time, I FEEL GOOD!

OK, I got that out of my system. So it is time for my to go to sleep, and as always may your nights be filled with Powerball winning wishes and popsicle dreams....

-Veelzabub

Another reason to watch yourself....

Well, it's about 11:00 on Tuesday night and I really should be asleep. I say I should be, because I have to spend the entire day tomorrow preparing for the 6:30 shoot at the harmless cooing bird house that has so kindly allowed us (free of charge!) to shoot there. Unfortunately, my body is fighting me on this...probably because I have made it stay awake for an extra three to four hours every night so far for the last six days. That aside, I'm sensibly using the "extra" time I have on my hands to send additional emails to prospective PAs and to surf generally mundane and meaningless web sites.

It was during my surfing that I found a fellow bloggers account of an attempted cheating bout. Needless to say, as a student who is damn near exhausted from writing papers and doing my homework honestly, (while working forty hours a week to keep myself in toilet paper and poptarts...), I was amused. Very. This girl solicited a stranger over AIM and offered him money to write her a paper on Hindi for a class. Please note that the paper was due the very next day. And it only had to be five pages long, which makes her lazy as well as stupid and a big fat cheater. In response, after playing with her for a while and offering every chance to see that he was full of it, the blogger offered to write it for her. In her words, "money is no object". He did, she did (after a lot of trying to get out of showing proof of paying, etc...). In the course of it he did manage to get her name, although she lied about her school, and he in turn posted the entire sordid affair on his blog, as well as emailing it to her dean. The paper he wrote was so completely asinine and obviously baloney that if she had read it before submitting it, she would have realized it was crap. However, based on what we've seen of her thus far, I somehow doubt that she did. You can read the whole story at http://aweekofkindness.com/blog/, scroll down to Laura K. Krishna is a Plagiarist. Keep in mind that the school name as well as her own has been changed by now (probably to avoid a lawsuit).

Whether it is true or not will probably never be known. The blogger is a comedian and it did come out approximately a week before that oh so sweet pranksters Mecca, April Fools Day. BUT, and this is a big but (notice those capital letters?), there does seem to be a lot of evidence in its favor.
Read about it on Boing Boing's site

I hate cheaters. And if this story is true, I hope that girl is is punished to the full extent of her university's polices. She probably won't be, as this is how things tend to go in our overly litigious and backwards society. Nevertheless, cheaters never prosper (unless of course they do-and we all know someone like that) and this stupid little twit got what she so richly deserved. People are bashing the guy who turned her in for being cruel and "possibly ruining someone's life". He didn't ruin anything. That dumb ass who was soliciting strangers to do her work did. Was this the first time you ask? It could have been, but somehow I doubt it. People like that cheapen the value of what I am working so hard for and I have no pity.

So, the lesson here is if you are dumb and callow enough to cheat, don't ask strangers to help you, or it will turn around and bite you on the butt (and rightly so!). I am now going to pound a beer and hope that will put me to sleep. Not the best way to go about it, but I really hope it works. The way my life's been going all it will do is make me feel like crap when I wake up, but that really isn't so different from how I expect to feel in the morning anyways...

Ciao,

-Veelzabub